It's 3:30 in the morning and I can't sleep...I've watched how to lose a guy in 10 days for 2 hours and yet I can't sleep...I've read a bunch of stuff over the teen vogue magazine and still I can't sleep...I've heard my stomach growling I tried to have an after midnight snack, brush my teeth, watch some goofy late night shows and still I can't sleep...
I'm...pathetically... awfully "SAD"...It's not the same anymore...We used to have exciting moments together...I used to love looking into your gorgeous eyes...I used to watch every sexy movement of your lips...I used to laugh at your funny and spooky jokes...We used to have fun under the sheets...The new styles...all the moaning...and the role playing...what happened to all those exciting things that we used to have in common...
Now sometimes I think that I barely know you...We barely gaze at each other...We don't share each other's "special" moments anymore...Whenever I look at those gorgeous eyes now a days I see you looking at me-- as if "I am just a girl." Now a days, I am just a girl who makes it a point that your uniforms are all well pressed and tidy while you take your morning shower...Now I'm just a girl who makes sure that you have your lunch box ready before you could give me a quick kiss and off you go...I'm just this girl who can fix you dinner when you get home...and the girl who can just lay next to you while you toss and turn on the wee hours...
I always dreamt of happy endings...I never had my dream wedding...I used to dream of a guy who can sweep me off my feet just like that...My prince at the end of the church ailse who awaits me and my very long entourage...With a long white vail on...with those pure white stilletos...and of course the white big...bold...and wavy ballgown that makes every girl envious and every guy turn their heads and gasps as I walk down the aisle...
I always dreamt of having someone to give my sweet kisses and tight hugs in the early morning wishing that that very moment will never end...I wish to gaze into your eyes while you gaze into mine as we share our breakfast together...I wish to be this sweet married woman that you can come home every afternoon wherein we can talk about all in a days work with all those exciting moments...Where you can hug me tightly whenever you feel that work is just a pain in the butt...Where we can always go out and celebrate whenever you're on cloud nine just because of one of the most appreciative comments that you had from a lovely patient who made your day...I wanna be the wife that you can come home to in the late afternoons wherein we can just sit next to each other, watch a good show...laugh...and talk about it...
I WANT TO LAUGH AGAIN LIKE I USED TO...I WANT TO BE THE SAME OLD SMART FUNNY GIRL THAT I WAS BEFORE I MET YOU...when I met you...tinanggal mo na yun eh...I LOST ME...but I had you...
and now...I'm not saying that I regret having been into this...But I just want to know how will I be this "complete" little package in your life ...where you can turn your back at everything and consider a world where the word, "IT'S JUST YOU AND ME BABY" matters...When will I stop pleasing you...When will you ever notice me...When will you say that everything is "PERFECT" and not just everything is just "ok"...
When will I say that I'm now contented...When will I say that everything's alright...When will I stop whinning...and when will I stop trying...
I'm getting tired too...waiting for you to come to bed next to me while you can have all night playing with those STUPID COMPUTER GAMES...when will you start to know me instead where you can read my thoughts to know how I exactly feel...
At some point...I really don't know you...and perhaps you really don't know me after all...
It's just sad to say that in your world I can never be your perfect package...I can never ever make you happy 100%...I'll always be a quarter in your life that fills in this itsy...bitsy...space...
sigh! I wish that life didn't have to be so complicated...
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